I think it comes to no actual responsible adults surprise that life is actually really really tough. I don't know about you, but if I could go back to the days of my adolescence I totally would. I say that, but if I'm being honest, I probably couldn't deal with half of what our kids go through or make it through middle school if it were in this generation.
Over the last 2.5 years I have been through trials that made me question my faith, that almost made me give up on hope. I constantly asked why God, why?
I am not a perfect Christian, I never have been. I've done one too many awful things too count on all my fingers and toes. I cuss way too much, studies show that makes me smarter and sometimes funnier, I'm working on being a little dumber and little less funny. I drink and smoke on occasion. I am truly not deserving of Gods grace that he gives so mercilessly.
I have been broken, abandoned, struck down, but through all of this...
I have not been destroyed.
Did you hear me? I said, I have not been destroyed! He is with me, even when I feel so alone in my feelings, emotions, and thoughts. He is with you, too.
I'm going to give you exactly the word that comes to mind when I think and realize what God has done for me through the trials I have faced, fought, and conquered.
Today I was reminded of the mercy and grace the Lord cast down upon me....everyday.
It hit me so hard, smack dab in the middle of my face, I cried. I cried like a newborn baby with colic.
Through everything I may face, he is there. He never once left me, even though sometimes I blamed him.
Through everything in my life, no matter how good or bad, I always found myself searching for him. I am constantly being redirected to him, his grace and love... he reminds me in those moments, he is present.
I have always found my hope in him. He continues to show me why daily. I can't begin to describe it, I can't begin to understand it. But I can explain that his love for me, it took place 2000+ years ago.
I am so glad at the pit of it all, I am redirected to the reason, to the cross and to the one who knows all.