Thursday, November 12, 2015

Hello... It's Me.

Your life is just begining. You have so many lessons to learn. Please be easy on your heart. Remember that some promises are meant to be broken. No matter how much they hurt you, things happen for a reason. Many will help you understand this. This will change you, but you will find yourself, who you were meant to be. Do not be bitter because of the past. People will judge you based off hear say or what they've seen. Do not let those people take away the shine from within. Better yourself not for them, but for you. Never give up on yourself. You will make it, no matter how hard you may have it at any given time.

Never stop believing you are the daughter of the King of Kings. His love for you will always be. You are perfectly imperfect. You are forgiven by his grace and loved through his mercy. You will fall short of his foot steps... But we all do. Remember he will never turn his back on you no matter how far you may have fallen behind.

Friendships will come and many will go. Turn away from negativity. For those that have loose lips about others, very well have loose lips about you. Trust only few. At a certain point in your life if you were to show someone 5 of your closests friends, They could show you your future. This is a huge lesson you will learn. Surround yourself with trust, respect, love and you will find just that filling the gaps in your life and heart. You will endure a few select heartbreaks and you will survive each of them. You will build up mountain sized walls. Eventually you will trust enough to break them down one by one. You will try and protect your heart, only to do the opposite. You will become a stronger version of the person before each of those heartbreaks changed you.

Your children will love you no matter the path you decide to take. They will see strength where others have condemned and laid judgement on you. One day they will understand how frightened you must have been to fail them and how strong you must have been to pick up the pieces around you and fix what you may have broken. You are their Mama, their hero, and always their safe place. They will always look for you and love you.

You will find that someone who loves you as much as you can love them. Pray for that man. Pray blessings over his life. Pray that your love only grow stronger, the stronger you both grow in Christ. Uplift him when he is down and when he is not. Remind him he is worth every ounce of his being. That true love doesn't end and it does in fact still exist. Old love is a beautiful thing. Help him believe in that again. Stand beside him and face the world, no matter the circumstances at hand.

To be forgiven you must first forgive. To move along with your life, you must learn to let go of the past. Take pride in the person your 28 year old self has become and smile. The mom you strive to be. The years to come will be some of your best. God has his hand on you and his plans for you are never wrong. They may be vastly different than the ones you have for yourself, but his are always perfect.

Every single day, smile, Chrystal Louise. Laugh and love. And most importantly, never stop. 

Sincerely,

Not Adele.

Monday, November 9, 2015

The girl behind the screen.

I haven't washed my hair in 3 days in hopes that without applying heat it will have grown at least 2in since Friday evening.
 
Pathetically enough and if we are actually going to be honest, its mainly just pure laziness. Yet, weirdly- I think I'm kind of pulling it off. I don't know if Husband has actually noticed I haven't washed it or has just decided to let me test out my own experiment or maybe thinks I'm having some sort of silent emotional breakdown and refuses to mention for now being that it could cause an even more emotionally unstable breakdown. Michael and I both are pretty OCD about hygiene. Given that piece of information, I know I have a timeline no longer than tomorrow and then I'll have to wash the mane. Or he will throw me in the shower Baby Mama style while I cry in the corner just like Poehler, clothes and all.
 
See what I did there?
 
I ruined a perception you had of me.
You thought that I always have my hair done, makeup on, that I'm manicured, the works.

Now that you all are thoroughly grossed out at the fact that I am:
1. That lazy of a human being.
Let's move on shall we?
(BTW, I have showered. Just refusing to use shampoo for now.)
 
Perception.
Definition: the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses. 
 
We all have them.
My favorite one is that by what people post on social media is their ACTAUL REAL LIFE.

The girl I am behind this screen is who I am in reality.
(You just know more than my husband knows at this point.)

However, I give you the portion I want you to see.
I am NOT going to post a picture of what day 3 unwashed hair looks like on me.

Here's the reason(s) why:

It's none of your business.
My life is way more messier than my Facebook claims it is.

I know a lot of you think my post about my life are gag worthy and that's okay, I do too most of the time. I constantly am like, really Chrystal? What about the bad shit? All the while all of you are saying, "Her life couldn't possibly be "that perfect"."

Let's be real for a minute..
ITS NOT.

I'm sure if I updated my status 20 times a day with every single thought and event that happened in between the gag worthy stuff, 1. I'd have a lot less friends and a lot more enemies...
Most of you would end up making pretty hilarious and judgmental memes about me or just unfriend me. My ex husbands new wife post meme's about me all the time. SOO MUCH FUN.

That's another post for another day-

Anywhooooo-

What you may not know is that Michael and I argue!!! SHOCKER. Its usually minimal stuff and over in 2.5 seconds, but it happens. In between the pictures on Insta and Facebook- there are arguments, worry, stress. You don't see these things-hear our prayers of bids coming through that could financially help us in many ways more than one, you cant possibly imagine our trials, the things we go through to keep our family afloat. You didn't know that 3 weeks ago our power was cut off or the cable the very next week. Or how Husband doesn't get home sometimes till 8pm on weeknights or works all day on Saturday just to provide for his family because he believes that is HIS job... and how sad it makes me and how appreciative I am that I have a hardworking husband that is killing himself trying to make ends meet for our family of 7. You don't see how hard it is for a mother to let their step mother spank her children, you don't see how hard it is for me to only be a step mother to 3 kids who have completely enraptured my heart and everything that comes along in general about being a step-parent. It's hard. It's all so rewarding at the end of the day. But like I said, there are plenty of things you don't see, I don't post, and I don't talk about.

Stop basing your perceptions on the lives of others, based off of what they post on a social media outlet. Nobody has a perfect life.

My neighbor said to me last month or so, "I had no idea. I just thought because Mike owns his own company and can do all these different amazing things, ya'll didn't have it hard.".

Really?

BTW- I love my neighbor and we have had this conversation plenty. So no bad blood, but seriously.

It does go to show how we perceive others and their lives based off of what we show the world.

Stop judging people from an outside perception.
If you wanna know something, ask me. Don't assume.
9 times out of 10, unless its just extremely personal-
I'm going to tell you.

Ask someone how their day is going. Call an old friend, make sure life is treating them okay.
Because sometimes the strongest looking people are actually the weakest.
Be a good person, stop this generations perception of perfect.
NO ONE IS or HAS A PERFECT LIFE...
And if you do- Man, I would love to talk to you.

I said I wouldn't, but if we are going to keep it real:

Here is the girl behind the screen.
 
3 days of unwashed hair in all its oily glory.
 
 
Sincerely,
-C