Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Blogger Circa 2010.

Fast forward to 2016.
Kill me.
I feel old. Out dated.
 
Not nearly as humorous, chic or word savvy as some of these kids.
This big ole' world of fabulous ladies and gents has changed oh so much.
And I'm not sure where I am left standing in the midst of the humor, fashion, the makeup, and other magical- mystical realms of this world anymore.
 
Do I talk about my never a dull moment/ridiculous life with Husband
and our 5 precious little humans?
 
Like the time my Nickster decided to inform my husband that I had been gang banged....
Oh but yes, that REALLY happened.
2 people know this story. I am forever embarrassed.
I wish this conversation was being recorded.
Hello AFV. I'd be $50k richer.
 
Setting: Living room, playing Black Ops 3 with my kid and Husband.
(Because what do all other cool Mama Bears and Wifeys do?)
 
Nick: "Mom, you totally just got gang-banged!!!!"
Me: "What?!?"
Husband: "Mommy, have you been gang-banged before?"
Me: "N-"
Nick: "YES YOU HAVE, MOM!!!!!! DON'T EVEN TRY TO LIE! I'VE SEEN IT!!!"
 
God help me. As you can imagine, I almost had a stroke.
 
Apparently, getting your arse kicked on Team Death Match is now this generations fully renounced meaning of "getting gang-banged".
I'm still a little dead inside from that one.
 
Or do I tell you all about my fancy smancy workout routine I did tonight in my living room- 5 sets of 10, all while squatting with a 50lb Diva on my back. Do I mention I almost died, fell back on the very last one and did NOT harm my child in the process? Leaving out that earlier today I totally enjoyed shoving a Five Guys Burger in my mouth and some fries. For the record, I plan for it to be my last regular cheat meal for a while. I am also pretty sure I won't be able to move tomorrow.
 
Husband may not know it, but we are going to start practicing Acro-yoga together.
SHOCKER!!
He says, "Only after we obtain some sort of health insurance, because of his bigness and my natural clumsiness, I am sure to injure some delicate part of my body or worse, his..." He's probably right. After we hit the big leagues and are Acro Yogi extraordinaires, we I will start a ridiculous Insta account you can all enjoy.
I know, I know.
You're welcome.
 
There is actually no real point to this post, other than I have no clue what to blog about in this world of fabulous unicorns anymore. And everyone, including me, is on some sort of device in my living room and I needed someone to ramble to.
 
Struggle of Generation Technology is real, yall.
 
The night is young, I am about to go blast some Zombs with my kid and get gang banged... 
and I just had to spell JAIL for my 7 year old.
 
Lord, sweet baby Jesus...
SAVE US ALL.
 
Mama Bear, out.

Friday, January 1, 2016

Hey, 2016.

Here we are... a New Year.
Now I don't know about ya'll, but my life has been a rollecoaster this past year.
Thankfully, with more goods than bads.
 
I started living again- fully- for all intents and purposes after finding out in November I had the C word, then not having the C word, and then my oncologist slicing out a 5cm Tumor from my cervix. Yep, just as painful as it sounds. That was a 2 month healing process and I couldn't even enjoy the finer goods in life. I was in too much pain. A lot of prayers went into that healing. I am forever thankful for the ones that sent me all the good vibes and feels a girl could ever possibly need or want.
 
Yet, that journey is not over quite yet.
But I continue to pray that it will be, one day. 
Fingers crossed.
 
I got married.  
Something I SWORE I would NEVER do again.
I found my soul mate a year and some odd months ago.  
(and I didn't believe those existed anymore, kinda like unicorns.)
I am now the proud new owner of a Stud of a Husband and 3 gorgeous (I hate this word) Step-Children.
 
When I say that my world, my life, and my heart are full...
Believe me.
For the first time in the longest time, it is genuinely full.
 
I went 9 years searching for my little sister, Destiny.
I found her 9 years later on Facebook.
Thank God for Social Media.
I never thought I would ever hear myself say that...
Because without this generation and its super cool social media sites-
I would have never laid eyes on one of the most precious of jewels God had created ever again.
And today- she's my big little sister of a best friend.
Just her presence in our lives has filled it with hope, love, and completeness.
 
For years I wondered if I'd ever be truly happy again.
I catch myself wondering what I ever did to deserve this much love and happiness.
I still think from time to time when any of my 5 children come in for a hug or say an I love you or when Mike gives me that knowing look that says a thousands words to my soul...
 Someone pinch me.
IS THIS REAL LIFE??
 
Maybe God does answer prayers.
I'm throwing my bet on the table with that in mind.
I'm quite thankful for the ones he didn't answer...
Whew.
 
 And then I realize if he heard me just once...
That maybe, somehow, he saw two similar hearts and thought it would be fun to make us endure some tribulation and trials before there could actually be an us.
 
But let me tell you-
 
I would wait another, for what seemed like a thousand years, again-
to have the love and happiness I share with Michael and our 5 combined.
 
I met my best friend.
My Insta is quite nauseating. My facebook, GAG.
My now blog....
I wanna Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch, kinda shout it from the rooftops.
That's just how in love and happy I am.
 
Do not get me wrong, here.
My life is not perfect.
I don't claim to have the perfect marriage, be a perfect parent, or person in general.
But my happiness is genuine.
Like all things- nothing is perfect..
But I'm going to go on a long shot and say-
My life is my own definition of perfect.
 
I have everything I need and more.
God is for the first time in a very long time, #1 in my life again.
 
2015 taught me a lot of things.
 
 I started to see the in between grey area that no one really likes to talk about.
BEING REAL.
I realized first hand that just because you have the best interest in your heart for someone-
doesn't mean they have the best of yours in heart.
It's sad, but most people are only out for themselves.
 
I figured out- I don't need those people in my life.
And that has been tough lesson to learn.
Honestly, my life is twenty times better without them.
I've accepted that people will lie and laugh at your expense,
only to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities and issues.
Is it fair? No. Is it pretty? Hell No.
 
But it has helped me get rid of the baggage in my life.
Taught me who I needed and who I didn't.
I'm glad my circle is smaller. My people are amazing.
Just like that, moving along...
 
Together, Mike and I have numerous "resolutions" I guess you would say, that we plan on putting into works. This year is going to be one of the best for our little big fam of 7. I just know it.
I go into 2016 with even more hope and faith than last year.
       VIA
 Because with God, All things are POSSIBLE.
 
Happy New Years, 
Chrystal Louise